I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
