can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
