The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
