i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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