Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
