apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
