Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
