What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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