i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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