I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
