Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no