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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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• (831): View more from California

  She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  eat her like coffee?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?

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• (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (+82): View more from South Korea

  I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.

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