Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
