Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

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(347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw

Replies (134) Good night (44924) Bad night (2157)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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(604): What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners. http://tfl.nu/ayy8

Replies (58) Good night (827) Bad night (3886)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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(856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon

Replies (12) Good night (3797) Bad night (645)
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(217): View more from Illinois

And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.

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(217): And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night. http://tfl.nu/dztw

Replies (3) Good night (1883) Bad night (1347)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8

Replies (2) Good night (1411) Bad night (658)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??

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(616): I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask?? http://tfl.nu/g9zb

Replies (18) Good night (1947) Bad night (512)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.

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(603): I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/omfe

Replies (13) Good night (1176) Bad night (817)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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(913): He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/52qd

Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (1579)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

(1+44): View more from

It's a podium place so yeah...

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(+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg

Replies (8) Good night (1416) Bad night (487)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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(413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11

Replies (6) Good night (1227) Bad night (726)
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(303): View more from Colorado

as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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(303): as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking. http://tfl.nu/8b6a

Replies (0) Good night (760) Bad night (384)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.

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(405): Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow. http://tfl.nu/6tpd

Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (386)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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(413): Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad http://tfl.nu/6sd1

Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (628)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??

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(814): What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares?? http://tfl.nu/za5w

Replies (8) Good night (393) Bad night (1027)
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(630): View more from Illinois

How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.

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(630): How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend. http://tfl.nu/4dw0

Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (203)

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