Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you don't even go to loyola anymore

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  (504): loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs (314): you don't even go to loyola anymore http://tfl.nu/fisu
  Replies (45) Good night (8048) Bad night (998)
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  (914): View more from New York

  For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  That's cute.

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  (914): For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding. (1-914): That's cute. http://tfl.nu/zzhb
  Replies (27) Good night (1271) Bad night (2522)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

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  (425): Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/qnyh
  Replies (27) Good night (1809) Bad night (4371)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

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  (612): Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab... http://tfl.nu/at31
  Replies (14) Good night (1246) Bad night (3325)
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  (415): View more from California

  Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted

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  (415): Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted http://tfl.nu/ojyr
  Replies (6) Good night (3617) Bad night (1034)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.

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  (715): I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/bxlt
  Replies (8) Good night (1011) Bad night (3967)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It was like getting head from an anaconda

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  (419): It was like getting head from an anaconda http://tfl.nu/fnhr
  Replies (23) Good night (3176) Bad night (2299)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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  (250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6
  Replies (9) Good night (3103) Bad night (989)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2484) Bad night (760)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS

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  (717): Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS http://tfl.nu/pbtw
  Replies (19) Good night (1180) Bad night (2345)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.

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  (715): I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall. http://tfl.nu/slbi
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (371)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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  (253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She looks like a beluga.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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  (941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?

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  (248): My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes? http://tfl.nu/xjpv
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.

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  (267): No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/rx6k
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (668)

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