I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am