he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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