It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
