TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
