WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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