kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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