I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
