i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
