You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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