Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
