so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
