i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
