My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
