He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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