lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize