I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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