ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
