when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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