so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize