I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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