I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
