To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
