Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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