thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
