It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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