sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
