i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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