Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
