Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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