i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
