I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
