dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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