dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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