I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
