great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
