Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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