Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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