Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
