Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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