You're completely useless in the revolution.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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