i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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