whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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