i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
