The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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