i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
