Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize